Should Your Kid Get an Allowance??

Years ago a parenting expert told me to give my kids an allowance, "just for being my kid". Okay, but then won't they grow up expecting a reward for doing nothing? Yes, actually, they will because you're training their brain to do just that, and clearly that is NOT what you want to do. Instead let them earn money by providing "extra value" - washing the car, cleaning the bathroom, or dusting - you are helping them to build neural pathways for work ethic and self-worth. That doesn't mean that they get paid for cleaning up their room or helping with the dishes, they should do that because they are a part of the family, the team that works together to make the household run. When they help with family tasks their brains releases oxytocin, that hormone that starts labor, that gets released when you breastfeed or when you have an orgasm. It's also a bonding hormone, and it strengthens their neural networks and tells them, "I belong here because I contribute here for the wellbeing of my family". So when they get money for the extra value things, their brain releases dopamine and reinforces their dopamine reward system. Basically you're training their brain to get a little rush when they complete the job. Try making a list of all the thing that need doing in your household, and assign a value to each thing. In our house, cleaning the bathroom was worth far more than dusting the living room. Let your child choose from the list so they can choose the value they want to create and their brain will learn that money comes from solving problems and helping other people ... and maybe, just maybe you won't have so much work to do as a parent.